to know everything is dangerous

the lightening reminded me

the spark that created the universe created you and me and everything around us and is constantly doing so every imaginable second.  wow.  so, i can constantly relax and trust the whole mind to take care of this little one.

thanks, big one.

sincerely, little one.

i seem to be getting better

not just older.

i finally realized that i can surrender my life to the universe.
it will take care of me.  it wants the best for me.  it's on my side.  it loves me.

it really sucked thinking for so long that everyone (almost), including God, was against me.

i don't know what changed in my head/heart/soul/mind, but i'm beginning to see the light.  it's good.

bright, but a nice and friendly-like kinda brightness.

a letter to my mom

i read this at my mom's memorial service

12/18/13

Dear Mom,

It's been a month since you died and, while it's difficult knowing you're gone from this earth forever, it comforts me to know you're no longer suffering.  Your last few months couldn't have been easy.

But it's your 78 previous years I'll remember.  You didn't stop seeking the truth and I admire you for that.   You weren't afraid to admit you had been wrong about something you clearly believed whole-heartedly at an earlier time.  You eventually stopped going to church altogether, telling people, "God's not in church."  I remember your having once said, "You don't have to pray for God to come to church, you bring Him with you."  I agree.  I've often told people, "If God is everywhere, there is nowhere God is not.  God is in every cell of every thing and every space in between.  Then, God is in all of us equally."  I remember telling you that God, being everywhere, couldn't go outside of God to obtain the materials used to create the Universe, God could only make it out of God.  So, everything is God and we must be God.  And most of us act like it.

Well, Jesus said we are One with Him and He is One with God, so, by my math, that makes us One with God.  Simple freshman algebra.

I don't know how long we will keep following the notions of a religious organization that has terrorized this globe for over 1800 years.  They told we had a disease and sold us the cure, and killed us if we refused to buy it.  And, ironically, her Protestant children call her the Mother of Harlots.  Funny.

You're free of all that dogma now and are in the presence we long to be in, cuz we still think we're separate from it.  But how can you be separate from something that is everywhere?  It seems, then the sickness is thinking we're sick.  Jesus said, "What I have cleansed, don't call common."

Nelson Mandela used the following quote form Marianne Williamson's Return to Love in his inaugural speech:

 Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.  Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.  It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.  We ask ourselves, "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?"  Actually, who are you not to be?  You are a child of God.  Your playing small does not serve the world.  There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.  We are all meant to shine, as children do.  We were born to make manifest the Glory of God that is within us.  It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.  And as we let ourselves shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.  As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

I am glad to be free.  I thank God for Nelson, and Marianne and you.

You taught me a lot, Ma.  People may say you weren't perfect, but I disagree.  You were the perfect you.  It reminds me of a story a preacher once told me.  The little green apple was afraid it wasn't perfect, because it was immature, but once it ripened, it realized it had been perfect all along, from seed to tree to blossom to apple to seed, again.

Jesus told us, "The kingdom of God is within you."

We're God in another form.  And you, no longer in human form, may be gone, but won't be forgotten.

Thank you for loving and advising me and for respecting me by keeping silent when I asked you to, even tho you thought I was making a mistake.  I'm glad you learned to give up control and let me take the wheel of my own life.  God and I got this.  It's gonna all be all right.

See you soon, I'm sure.

With all my love,
Your Son,
Dennis

new haiku 3

I hope you don't yet
know, you own my soul and have
recast my future

new haiku, too

tomorrow, be here
with bells on or without, and
today, dream of me

a new haiku

i fear your beauty
for i am certain it will
be my undoing