Blessed are the Needy

For they shall never be filled.

I don't know why I started noticing how needy I can be, but once I did, it seemed like everything I did was to satisfy some need. I need attention, I prefer the good kind, like affirmations, praise, and adoration, so get on facebook. I am the last one to comment, text or say, "goodbye" in almost every conversation.

A friend started it when I had to have the sixth farewell hug after a quick visit. "Why are you so needy, man?" he blurted like Kramer on dark chocolate m&m's. I was stunned, but laughed and shrugged and then noticed how much I crave reassurance. I was actually injured when a new friend was coming in for a pretend hug which I thought was real, and then, after he backed off, I was like, "Oh, I was looking forward to that." When he returned with an exuberant bear-type hug, his shoulder hit my windpipe, and that sucker hurt for two weeks! Why did I have to have the actual hug? Needy.

I blame it on my parents. and siblings. and other mean relatives. They ignored, abused and neglected me. (Well, most of 'em did. I do have two nice sisters, and other cool relatives I love and like a lot.) No wonder I have issues. But, as some moderately famous person said, "So what if you're mother locked you in the closet when you were six? What are you going to do about it now?" Not too empathetic, but true. I can blame them all I like, but what good will it do? It's up to me to undo the mess we made.

I get to realize I'm an insecure son of a couple of insecure parents and, one would hope, at some point, challenge my insecurities with the facts about my existence. I'm a magnificent child of god. And "If God had children, wouldn't they be little Gods?" I might add, "what else would they be, fish?" Now, all I'm saying is most people say god made us in his image, so...

The trouble must lie with my thinking I'm not wonderful. I was taught that I was not, but my teachers were wrong. I really don't blame them, any more, cuz I know they couldn't teach what they did not know. Thank Universe for folks who know we're all connected to the power that runs this macrocosm, cuz it runs us. It is us. The body of Christ... whatever you do to the least of my brothers, you do to me... I don't see that just as a warning, but, also as an affirmation that we are one with god. I tell everyone who'll listen that we're just God dreaming he's six-billion different people. We each do act like the universe revolves around us, kinda like the supremest being would. So, I guess if we remember who we are, we won't feel separated from our source, which is the cause of our insecurities in the first place. Our father is the king, kids, we're royalty!

Well, it's tiring trying to get all you other God to see things my way. I need a nap. Bless me.



Yours,


D



P.S. Wake me when the feast commences.