You won't believe this...

but I went to this one church and the pastor was a big hypocrite. No, I'm serious.

Check this out:

Week one, he rants about how he got a ticket, cuz some crazy lady cut him off and then slammed on her brakes, causing him to hit her, and how angry that got him...

Week two, he boasts about how he likes to go the same speed as the car next to him when he sees someone in an obvious hurry coming up behind him, so they can't get through...

Week three, he preaches about god's unconditional love for us and how we are to have that for all god's children...

Week four, he announces that if his son got a tattoo he would kick him out of the house...

Week five, he fondly recalls how he got the teacher fired who was having his daughter read "Flowers for Algernon", because the main character masturbates in it...

Week six, he masturbates on stage... Not really, but I got your attention, didn't I?

Ok, I let this man's hypocrisy be my excuse for leaving his church, when, really, it was just cuz their "perfect" praise music made me want to puke (even on the Sunday when the music leader had to sub for a singer and didn't know the song and fudged it all up, so I laughed to myself at their failed "perfection")...

So, my "first" attempt, after coming out of the church of darkness, to find a "Christian" church that followed "the Christ" and embraced all humans left me wondering why all pastors were know-it-all pricks, spouting self-congratulatory seminal fluid, and why the congregations were swallowing it whole, while I was busy spewing.


Well, I'm glad I've finally realized that everyone is a duplicitous dick at times, even me. What? But I am the seeker of all things true, righteous and holy. And a giant hypocrite.

Wow, that felt good. Now, I hope you'll have the courage to admit it to yourself, too, because if you're animate, you can be a contradictory son of a woman from time to time.

Like me.

So, I guess I'll get off your case.



Yours,

D



P.S. Well, at least there's justice; I heard that pastor got fired for some vague reason or other.


P.P.S. Ooo. Makes me want to stop being sanctimonious.... naw!