Our Greatest "Sin"

I used to attend a church that kept its followers in line by constantly preaching and promoting a fear of hell. And they had a long list of things sure to send you there, including movies, tv, and drinking, smoking, cussing, and, of course, fornicating. We were kept busy repenting every second, or tithing, praying, preaching, and, of course, proselytizing. The focus was on purity. We had to prove that we were grateful to have been saved by/from an angry vengeful supreme being who wanted our whole heart, mind, soul and body and would surely destroy us if we failed in our attempt to surrender sufficiently. We "kept our hearts right with god" (a phrase which is missing from my bible, hmm.), and had little time for outsiders (sinners) but to tell them to "get their hearts right" or burn in hell. Cuz god loves you so much he died for for your sins, but will send you to hell in a heartbeat, if you don't believe and repent correctly (and stay repented, dang it!).

I knew in my heart that if a god forgave me for all my sins, I must be forgiven completely. It says in that book that Jesus died for us once and for all (in the letter to the Hebrews). Hmm. That's pretty all-encompassing. Sounds like my only job is to believe, and I do, or I did.

Now I know that I never needed to be forgiven. In god's eyes, I was, am, perfect. An Episcopal priest explained it by comparing us to apples. We start off as a perfect bud, and grow, albeit, immature for a time, into a perfect apple. Our whole problem is that we think there's a problem. In our own minds we wonder how a god could love us with all our "faults" and spend little time wondering how he can see our beauty and talent and glory. But if I think of how I look at my own children, I can comprehend how a god can have unconditional love. I just understand and empathize with them and, thusly, they can do no wrong. They're amazing and awe-inspiring and pure in my eyes. And the god of the Universe is purportedly able to do all things, so I assume he can love me at least as ineffably.

I remember reading in the book about Peter having a vision wherein Jesus let a sheet down from Heaven containing every kind of animal on the earth and told him, "Arise, Peter, kill and eat." And when Peter saw there were "unclean" animals, he told God, "No, sir, I will not eat anything unclean or common." (Peter was a Jew and had a list of things he couldn't eat. I know, crazy, huh?) And the Lord said to him, "Don't call what I have cleansed common." And this happened three times before, I guess, the Master of the Universe got tired of telling him the same thing over and over and took the sheet back up into Heaven, leaving Peter and billions of other conscientious people to misinterpret his words. Peter couldn't understand that God was telling him every human is clean. None of us is common. Never were. The problem was only in our minds.

I love this quote which Nelson Mandela used in his 1994 inauguration speech: “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
Marianne Williamson from her book, A Return To Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles.

This solidified the thoughts I'd been having for years which had led me out of a controlling, condemning, contumacious church. What if our greatest sin is that we keep telling ourselves how horrible we are, instead of looking for the beauty and talent and image of God in ourselves? Just think what a heavenly place this world would be, if we all knew how marvelous we were, indeed, are.



Yours,

D


P.S. So, now you're free to be your wonderful self. Ain't it grand?